Turkey Winter NPR Dance

It was winter the first time I did the chair dance.  Do you remember that night?  My favorite bar was on the verge of closing and I was about to leave town for a couple of months.  Saying goodbye was why I was at the bar.  Joe was in town visiting and that’s why I started drinking Wild Turkey.  Wild Turkey is something I’ve only consumed once, and though it was a good night I’ve never had it since.

But Wild Turkey didn’t make me do the chair dance, it just let me.

See, we were sitting there at the bar, school was out so the kids with bangs and pastel colored shirts were gone.  And Pokey Lafarge was playing.  That’s the thing, it was Pokey and plenty of people were enjoying themselves but there was plenty of room at the front of the bar.

Now watch Pokey at his tiny desk concert and when it’s over I’ll tell you about a chair dance.


See, now wasn’t that awesome.  And nobody had Wild Turkey at NPR.

So at the bar I leaned back on my stool and asked this chick if she had her camera.  Her answered started to be long, like more than five words and she tried to explain why she left it and blah blah blah, so I interrupted and said “YOU’RE GOING TO WISH YOU DID”

Then I was swinging a chair around, behind my back, rocking gently from side to side, snuggling on the slow ones, and bumping and grinding at the raunchy parts.

Later, as in when the sun was barely up I vomited in a buddy’s toilet.  You’d rather do that kind of thing in your own toilet so after regrouping I walked half a mile or so to my truck.  It was snowing a Mississippi snow, which since I was only wearing a denim jacket was brutal.

I’ve danced with a chair several times since.  But it hasn’t been the same.  And I never talked to that chair again.  I hope it didn’t get pregnant.


~ by charleshaleblog on April 27, 2011.

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