big difference and the spectacle of spectacle/hot wings.

•June 2, 2011 • Leave a Comment

This past Saturday my married friend sent a text.  His wife and daughter were out of town and so he was lonely and free to do about any damn thing.  So we texted back and forth and decided to eat.  “Where,” I asked because I’m still new in town.

“We could just walk around and see what looks good,” he said.  Boom-Saturday plans.

Then I did some laundry and rode my bike to the meet up spot.

We both arrived with headphones in our ears.  He said pizza I said and wings.  Sitting outside was mandatory.

We ordered 10 wings, 4 pepperoni rolls, and chips & salsa.  It was decided that we would eat and drink water and then walk over to this other place, sit outside, and split a pitcher of PBR.

While we were waiting for the food I got a text from Joe Ricker.  He had written something and wanted to share.  The text read-When my wife moves her ass it’s like a refrigerator door opening.  There’s a promise of something tasty but really, there’s nothing in there but cold.-I texted back that he should use that as the opening line of a story because I would read to find out what was next.  And that if he didn’t use it then I would.  I’m pretty sure that my version of the story would go somewhere wildly different than his.

Then the food came and we ate.  I didn’t think about my phone or much of anything.  We could have done without the chips & salsa-though it did come with cheese dip but that tasted like the shit you get at a baseball game.

There was a motorcycle rally/event going on a block over from where we were eating and after we paid the bill we wandered that way just for the spectacle of the spectacle.  I’m down with bikers.  They embrace their trashiness and exhibit no shame.  The we saw some bmx dudes and ramps and guys on sport motorbikes.  We waited and were treated to a demo where dudes do those crazy things on motorbikes like back wheelies and standing on the seat.  It was like watching videos on the internet and being able to smell the burnt rubber.

Then we went and drank a pitcher of PBR and listened to people talk to loud.

and now that I think about it.  this was not last Saturday it was last Sunday.  big difference.

 

duplex suburbia

•May 23, 2011 • Leave a Comment

i cut the grass in my backyard this evening.  joe lon thinks this is play time and eats blades of grass and runs around and looks at me and chews sticks and gets in the way.  it took a little over an hour i think.  i played one album and then a few songs on shuffle, that’s how long it took.  i cut grass the hard way.

the other day clint asked if i had met the neighbors.  there’s a guy in the next duplex over, a yard between us, that i talked to one day, i told clint.  i was playing with joe lon in the yard and this guy was standing by his door and looking at his little dog barking.  clint asked me if he had a shirt on, i told him yes but it didn’t have sleeves.  sometimes he wears overalls.  i think my neighbor said his name was tom but can’t really remember.

see, this grass cutting is interesting for two reasons.  first, this is the second time i’ve cut my duplex lawn since moving in and these are the first two times i’ve cut grass in eight or nine years.  the last time i cut grass was with the same mower i’m doing it with now.  it’s clint’s push mower and by push mower i mean without a motor.  it rained everyday last week and the grass got higher than i wanted it to get before the cutting.  but whatcha gonna do?

so i’m in my backyard of duplex suburbia and i’m listening to music on the headphones.  and these aren’t the tiny little earbud things that would be hard to see if you were, let’s say, two yards over and wearing a shirt with no sleeves.  no, these were big honking headphones that cover the whole ear and block out other noise.  that’s why i like them.  i was working the mower, struggling i guess it looked like from two yards over in a shirt with no sleeves.  and i swear i hear something that isn’t coming from the headphones.

i had seen tom earlier and ignored him but now i pulled the headphones off my head and asked ‘do what?’  ‘you need some gas for that’ he said and i should have said ‘you need some sleeves for that’ but didn’t.  we talked across fences a bit then i went back to pushing and pulling.  it got dark, i got finished, this is life in duplex suburbia.

ketchuping up and other things

•May 19, 2011 • 1 Comment

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker on the side of a van that said ‘your kid may be an honor student but my kid eats bacon.’  I had to speed up to see that it was a sticker for a burger place.

The funny this is this was at 10:45 this morning.  Before I saw the sticker I noticed the guy driving the van because he was munching on a burger.  He was licking some condiments off his hand when I was sitting next to him at a red light.  Hopefully it was ketchup and not mayonnaise.

Window cleaning is in full force now.  I ran an online promotion and sold a bunch of houses.  This makes me happy but I would be happier if it would stop raining so I could get them all done.  More promotion is coming, I might be able to make a living at this.

Click on the button over there—————->for the Reading List.  I’m reading a bunch of kick ass books this year and I’ve included a brief write up.  You should tell me if you’ve read any of them and your thoughts or make suggestions.

Here’s The Devil Makes Three…………………………………….(i can’t get enough of this song)

And another of my favorite new bands====The Head & The Heart

Because I Know Somewhere Out There Kevin Larkin Is Waiting

•May 10, 2011 • Leave a Comment

The sign man called on Friday and we talked for 15 minutes or so.  Would you call me hard headed and stubborn if I told I wasn’t exactly sold on his sincerity?

He had read my email and wanted to explain my side of this.  I said what I said in the email, his worker did a good job but I was sold something that wasn’t able to do what it was sold to me for.  And I didn’t think I should have to pay for it.  Then he talked.

I’m not sure what the point of his talking was.  He asked me what the resolve of this was.  I said I’d like to have my money back for the MAGNET that don’t work.  I don’t think he wanted to give me any money.

On Monday I brought the MAGNET back to the store and they measure my back window for stickers.  We’re making a trade I guess, hopefully this will all be over by Friday.

I felt like the asshole going back in there.

self explanatory

•May 8, 2011 • Leave a Comment

unexpected acclaim.

•May 5, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Last night I won a beer at trivia.

This was my status update this morning on facebook and it received way more action that I was expecting.  Maybe my friends think I’m stupid and my ability to prove them wrong rests at the dirty bar night trivia.  If only I had known this sooner then I wouldn’t have played trivia before last night.

The question wasn’t part of the regular trivia game.  Between rounds a chick would stand at random places around the room and the guy on the microphone would read a question.  People had scratch paper and the first person to write down the correct answer and show it to her won a beer.  Some people ran, that kinda weirded me out.  And it reminded me of this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmbcULroIgs

and this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nFmnG1Fk_k

So the question was-what public enemy was recently arrested in las vegas over a driving dispute?

Do you know? Do you know? Do you know?

This Ongoing MAGNET Situation

•May 3, 2011 • 1 Comment

This is the email I sent to Sign A Rama of Ft. Collins this morning.  The owners do not post their email addresses so I had to send it via the general contact us form.

Good morning-
Ten or twelve days ago I came into Sign A Rama looking to purchase auto magnets to advertise my business 
on my car.  Your staff member was very helpful and listened to what I wanted and then walked out to my 
car and took measurements to determine what was best for my order.  She then printed me out a quote and 
told me to call her is she could help.  Later I went to Signs Now to get a quote.  The woman there never
left her desk and seemed disinterested in my business.  So I decided that even though the Sign A Rama
quote was about ten dollars more expensive that I would purchase my magnets from you.  I appreciate 
quality service and am willing to pay a little extra for it.
My magnets were made in a timely fashion and when I came by the shop to pick them up they looked great.
I was given some helpful advice about washing my car before installing them and periodically removing 
them to protect my paint job.

Unfortunately, after I washed my car I was unable to get the rear magnet to stick.  When I called Sign A
Rama I was told that this situation had only happened once or twice before and I was told that I could 
purchase a permanent decal to replace the magnet at a discounted price but that I was out of luck in 
regards to the magnet that I purchased that didn't work.  This was a terribly disappointing response.
I walked into your store to purchase auto magnets with the assumption that you and your staff would be 
knowledgeable about auto magnets.  Your staff member walked out to my car and saw exactly were I wanted 
to place the magnet.  I find it hard to believe that a 2009 Toyota Matrix is such a rare car that this 
situation has rarely happened or if it is so rare I would expect that you would realize that you had 
made a mistake.  I told you what I wanted and where I wanted to use it and you sold me a product that 
didn't fit the needs I had outlined.  I understand that mistakes can be made but your response to that 
mistake is very unsatisfactory.
Not only will I not be using Sign A Rama for my future sign needs I will not be shy about reporting my 
unpleasant experience with others.

Sincerely,
Charles Hale